ACTUAL Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins

  1. Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
  2. Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
  3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  4. For those of you who have children and dont know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
  7. Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  8. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing Put Me In My Little Bed accompanied by the pastor.
  9. Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
  10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  11. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
  13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind ard they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
  14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be What is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  16. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  17. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
  18. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
  19. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  20. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
  21. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  22. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.
  23. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  24. The Lutheran Mens group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed, potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
  25. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  26. The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
  27. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  28. Miss Charlene Mason sang I will not pass this way again bringing obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  29. Ladies, dont forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
  30. Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
  31. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say hell to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  32. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
  33. The sermon this morning: Jesus walks on the water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
  34. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  35. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jacks sermons.
  36. The Over 60’s Choir will be disbanded for the summer with thanks.
  37. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.
  38. The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
  39. There is no Presense of God in the pastors study today.
  40. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on It’s a terrible experience.
  41. The Associate Minister unveiled the churchs new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge-Up Yours."

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