Funny English Mistranslations


All over the world well-meaning tourist stop operators try to cater to English-speaking travelers.... and fall just a little bit short:

In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal the hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In Akko, Israel:
Lamp Chops

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To more the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the fob of the chambermaid.

In a Tokyo hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel accross from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firms own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet weekly:
There will be a Moscow exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germanys Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for example, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for that purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakia tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylon cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using the hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In a Japanese hotel room:
Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

In an East-African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:
A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan:
Stop: Drive sideways

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking
- Here speaking American


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Last visit was on 2017-08-19 00:31:54